But, thankfully, my 9-year-old's Flag Football practice is at night, after the hubby comes home. So I get to take him to practice, just the two of us. I get to sit on the gym floor and alternate between watching him happily bounce about chasing a ball and reading whatever book I'm currently loving on.
I guess the boy finally wore himself out a little bit because on the drive home he was quiet. Therefore, there was quiet. If you have kids, you know what a rare and precious gift quiet is.
And the Holy Spirit used that moment to blow up my universe.
There are Bible verses I've known since I don't know when. One of those memories is "...to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21 NIV)
Now, as a believer in Christ that has fought that battle with depression for years, I've always understood the whole, "to die is gain," thing. But for the 1st time, the other night, I heard, really heard, the 1st half of the verse.
"...to...live...is...Christ..."
I heard, "...to LIVE is Christ."
Jesus does not repress me. I've had a few religious people try to wrap me up & tie me down, but for as long as I've known Him, Jesus, has never done such. He is the one who put the love of acting in me as a teen, sent me to El Salvador, married me to a wonderful man, gave me four sons, moved me across the planet to Alaska, birthed the desire to create, painted the majestic vistas about me in full color in the summertime, painted in black and white in the winter, and has taken me on multiple "less traveled" paths.
He has made me truly live. I stand in awe.
I also heard, "...to live is CHRIST."
This life can certainly be amazing, but it can also be really, really hard. There is pain. There is grit.
And Jesus chose to live here. He left perfection and kingship. He emptied his God-hood out & became human. He didn't choose middle-class America either. He grew up a minority. He grew up poor. I've heard that the tax rate from Rome was about 70-80% depending on your tax collector. He grew up to be hated. He grew up to be beaten. He grew up to torturred. He grew up to be crucified, humiliated and to die.
And He chose to do it.
I think I can choose to really live. In good times and bad. Because He gives me the same strength of choice He had.
Now, as a believer in Christ that has fought that battle with depression for years, I've always understood the whole, "to die is gain," thing. But for the 1st time, the other night, I heard, really heard, the 1st half of the verse.
"...to...live...is...Christ..."
I heard, "...to LIVE is Christ."
Jesus does not repress me. I've had a few religious people try to wrap me up & tie me down, but for as long as I've known Him, Jesus, has never done such. He is the one who put the love of acting in me as a teen, sent me to El Salvador, married me to a wonderful man, gave me four sons, moved me across the planet to Alaska, birthed the desire to create, painted the majestic vistas about me in full color in the summertime, painted in black and white in the winter, and has taken me on multiple "less traveled" paths.
He has made me truly live. I stand in awe.
I also heard, "...to live is CHRIST."
This life can certainly be amazing, but it can also be really, really hard. There is pain. There is grit.
And Jesus chose to live here. He left perfection and kingship. He emptied his God-hood out & became human. He didn't choose middle-class America either. He grew up a minority. He grew up poor. I've heard that the tax rate from Rome was about 70-80% depending on your tax collector. He grew up to be hated. He grew up to be beaten. He grew up to torturred. He grew up to be crucified, humiliated and to die.
And He chose to do it.
I think I can choose to really live. In good times and bad. Because He gives me the same strength of choice He had.
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